Falling Short, Showing Up, and Trying Again

Looking back on this year, it’s time to take an honest accounting. It’s time to look squarely at my performance and ask some uncomfortable questions. Did I accomplish my goals? Where did I fall short? Where can I be better?

Goal setting is important—but accountability matters just as much. If you aren’t assessing your performance, you’re missing half the equation.

If I’m being honest, I’d give myself a solid B-.

On the positive side, I was very focused on my personal martial arts development and my physical health. One of my goals was to be in black belt exam shape, and I feel confident that I am. Another goal was to attend a world championship event—which I did, and I even podiumed. I’m also qualified for another world-level event next year, which is something I’m proud of.

Where I fell down physically was my running. I simply stopped running for a good portion of the year, and I’ve felt that loss deeply. I also missed my goal of hitting my middle split. On top of that, I fell short of my intention to drink less alcohol—something that impacts my physical goals more than I’d like to admit.

Professionally, I also came up short. I allowed my real estate practice to slide while I was chasing personal athletic goals. I managed to pick things back up toward the end of the year and have been solid since, but I failed to properly compartmentalize the different parts of my life that all require attention. I paid for that imbalance by having to return to the workforce for a couple of months.

But where I struggled the most was in my family life.

This year, I wrestled with patience, kindness, and grace. I was often stressed, short-tempered, and—if I’m honest—a little lost. I struggled with happiness and gratitude. I got caught up in the messy business of living. I kept score when I didn’t need to. I felt attacked when I wasn’t. I felt, in large part, underappreciated.

Was a lot of that perception? Yes—probably. But perception breeds perspective, and mine was skewed by stress and my own insecurities. That distortion darkened my mood and made it harder to be fully present with my family. That negative cycle clouded my year, my judgment, and many of my reactions.

The Stoics, however, have a powerful idea: expect failure.

You will come up short. You will fall off the wagon. You will miss the mark. But it is never too late to try again—and in fact, you should. You should always endeavor to overcome your shortcomings and bad habits. You can always work toward being a better person, no matter how many attempts it takes.

That’s what makes resolutions so enduring. It’s why we’re drawn to self-improvement. We recognize what we want to change, and we choose—again and again—to strive toward it.

So take some time to reflect on your own scorecard from the year. Be honest. But also give yourself grace. You might stumble. You might fall. And you might fail more than once.

There is always time to try again. There is always time to be better.