Any real athlete knows that sometimes your training takes a backslide. Injury, sickness, plateaus. All of those can feel incredibly frustrating. I personally stuggle with my addiction to alcohol. This is the first time I have ever said those words to anyone other than my wife and kids.
I don't even know how many of you read this but I do I struggle with addiction. And this past week I had a pretty serious binge. And it was not pretty. I mean I didn't get arrested or drive or anything like that, but I still woke up yesterday morning feeling awful and embarrassed and disappointed in myself.
Through my new training regimen I have been trying to stay sober. And have had some really good runs too. 9 weeks sober. I havent been sober that long since I was 14. And yes you read that correctly. I have been drinking since I was 14 yeaars old. I have been in trouble several time as a result of that drinking. I have known for a really long time that my relationship with alcohol isnt a good one. And yet I find myself time and time again returning to a substance that has stolen so much from me. The only reason is because I have never had or probably ever have a good relationship with alcohol. And it's time for me to be honest with myself about that.
I have come to hate the person I am when I drink. Mostly I hate the way it effects my workouts. I hate the way it effects my motivation. And I especially hate how moody I become. 27 years of drinking has not made me any better under any circumstances.
And so what do we do when we backslide? When we fall off? Well? We simply pick ourselves up and try again. We find a way to tap into that grit and we try again. I dont care if this the the 1st or 100th time you've tried to do something. Keep trying. This isn't my first attempt at getting sober, but I have to try again. I know how it feels to feel good and free from a substance, I just need to remember alcohol is literally a toxic friend who steals my energy and my health, and if a world championship is in the books we, there isn't any room for doubters. And alcohol will make you doubt yourself more than any hater.
If you find yourself struggling, with anything, MMAA is a place for you. I dont care what your struggling with. We all get the opportunity to help each other get better. Martial arts is one of the best examples of "the tide raising all ships". If I help anyone get better I get better as well!
And always remember to "Train hard! Figth fast! And score first! ASAI!!!
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